I am a Dog

Matthew 15:21 And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.” 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.” 24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26 And he answered, “It is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.” 28 Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly. [11]
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I have really had a hard time with this account of Jesus. It seems as though his love for the chosen people, Israel, is greater than his love for us "dogs". In this account it would seem that they are his children and we, the gentiles, are an afterthought. Surely this can't be the same Jesus that died for the whole world? Why would the man who welcomed little children, touched social pariahs and ate with sinners treat this woman this way? Was it because the Canaanites had been treating the Jews like dogs? Was it because this woman had treated someone in her life like a dog? In other words, was Jesus disciplining her for something, or testing her, kind of like with the rich young ruler or others who had baggage? I hope so because I cannot conceive of Jesus actually viewing this woman as less than human. And yet, when I read the passage it opens up all kinds of insecurity in me, fears that God might not love me or want me. Where does this come from? Is this fear justified? The Psalms tell us that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. But that is only the beginning. As we get to know God, we learn his love, because perfect love casts out fear. So is my insecurity about this passage related to an insufficient knowledge of God's love? I think yes. And I bear witness to this, that as I have wrestled with this passage and with God, like Jacob, seeking his blessing, He has taught me these two things. He loves me too much to let me go through this life without growing, and in order for anything to grow, it must be intentionally and skillfully broken down. I am a dog and God's love will make me a man.

Faith, Fear of Man and the Journey Ahead

I Kings 19:1 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.
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If you recall, Elijah has just finished the whole contest with the prophets of Baal and proven God's power in a profound way. Who could deny God after that? Surely after that great sign Elijah could have no doubt of God's will! But Elijah is human, like John the Baptist, his antecedent, and he confesses to God that he is no better than his fathers (or those after him).
He his weak in his faith for the moment, but he is humble about it. What does God do? He sends an angel with some food and drink. In other words, he sends a spiritual messanger with physical "daily bread". Interesting, eh?