Spiritual Leprosy / Two Kinds of Doubt

Luke 5:12 While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy. [11] And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13 And Jesus [12] stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him. 14 And he charged him to tell no one, but “go and show yourself to the priest, and make an offering for your cleansing, as Moses commanded, for a proof to them.” 15 But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. 16 But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.
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Two points here:
1. Leprosy is such a powerful analogy of sin. Essentially, it causes the skin to lose sensation, to become numb to pain and pleasure, to die, as it were. This is the effect of our spiritual disease called sin. In our sinful flesh, we lose sensation for the "real" things of God's Kingdom. We are unable to sense when our hand is on the stove. We are unable to feel the loving touch of another. Eventually there is a complete breakdown of the body (read: spirit). Leprosy is incurable. The pragmatic solution is banishment, so the death of the sensations leads to the death of relationships. Sin divides us and is the antithesis of the Greatest Commandment which is true, whole, Kingdom community.
2. The second thing I get from this passage is two kinds of doubt - doubting God's goodness and doubting His power. In this case, the leper believes that Jesus is able to heal him, but isn't sure if he is willing. In other passages of the Bible we see individuals who believe Jesus is willing but not able. All of us fall into one of these two categories when we struggle with faith in God. We either doubt he is willing or doubt he is able to do what we ask. Maturity leads us to consider the possibility, with humility, that our requests may not be good requests. If this is the case, then it is certainly possible that he isn't willing to answer the request. But in the case of the leper, it is obvious that something which was created to be a certain way - the man's body - was in a state of disarray. God, as Creator and Maintainer of His creation, is in the business of setting things right - so he is certainly willing to heal the leper (both spiritually and physically). Doubting that he is able, on the other hand, comes down to a simple misunderstanding of God. We've all done that and will continue to do it because he is beyond the limits of our understanding. Job struggled with this (not seeing resolution to his agony) and was awakened to God's power when confronted by God himself. God makes it clear that he is able to do whatever he wants, which brings us back to the first doubt again. Why would God allow Job to suffer so much, to lose his family so tragically and go through so long a trial without any clear reassurance of love? Tough questions - and I am so grateful the writers of the Bible didn't shy away from them or pretend the answers were easy. It is something to bookmark and come back to again and again.

Gethsemane & the Incarnation

Matthew 26:36-46 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch [7] with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” 40 And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? 41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44 So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. [8] See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”

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Jesus shows his divinity and his humanity in such profound ways in this passage. He is both strong enough to submit to his call as messiah and yet weak enough to feel all of the weight of the burden pressing down. His conversation with God the Father is strangely human and his imperative for the disciples to pray with him demonstrates supernatural standards of living. He is in the radical middle between God and man, or more accurately, He is fully God and fully man.
He is the prototype for what we aspire to become - not that we would become fully God, but we are certainly intended to be friends with God. Of all the celebrities who might ever call me on the phone and ask to be my friend, God has got to be the coolest one.

Doubt

Matthew 14:22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way [10] from the land, [11] beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, [12] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
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There are a lot of things that cause us to doubt. We doubt that God is as good as we hope. We doubt that he is as powerful as we hope. The story of Peter walking on the water would be a perfect parable for our own lives except for the strange fact that it is not a parable. As tempting as it might be to compare it to some Greek myth, the way the story is told transmits all of the real fear and nuance of a true story. So, we can draw the paralells and make it symbolic, but there is something much more mysterious about this story. It is a real parable, or as some have said, a true myth. Peter actually felt all of the fear of drowning and perhaps a deeper fear of God's rejection. Jesus' question: "Why did you doubt" address this second fear, the fear that God's love is not great enough. Faith turns out to be about knowing the character of God. As we press into Him and learn what He is like, we trust that he will always carry us.

Childlikeness and Childishness

Matthew 19:13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.
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Luke 7:31 “To what then shall I compare the people of this generation, and what are they like? 32 They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling to one another,
“‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;we sang a dirge, and you did not weep.’
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1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
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I had a college English Professor once who make a point I will never forget. He taught us that there is a big difference between child-likeness and childishness. The different senses are captured in the above mentioned verses. Jesus says that we must become like children, having faith like them and drawing close to Jesus in the same way, intuitively, humbly, trusting in His love. But we all know that children can be rascals. Jesus described his generation as a bunch of big babies, trying to manipulate him to do things that they wanted. He said, in effect, that they were being childish. Paul addresses the child-adult paradigm by explaining that he has given up "childish ways" but he still admits that life is pretty mysterious, as if looking into a dim mirror. In effect, he is humbling himself so that he rests on child-like faith.

Faith Like Jesus

Matthew 17:14 And when they came to the crowd, a man came up to him and, kneeling before him, 15 said, “Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. 16 And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him.” 17 And Jesus answered, “O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me.” 18 And Jesus rebuked the demon, [15] and it [16] came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly. [17] 19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” 20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” [18]
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I wonder if Jesus' faith was related to his righteousness. Faith seems to me to be related to what one knows. Righteousness is related to what one does. The two are of course inseperable, faith and works, orthodoxy and orthopraxy, right thinking and right action. The temptation with this passage is of course to convince ourselves that a mere mustering of the thought of the mountain in motion might be enough. Jesus lived a sinless life. I think there is power in that. I am not saying that his grace isn't great enough to make our faith powerful, but it seems reasonable to me that God would be more willing to work with people who were doing the stuff of Christ on a regular basis. So goal #1 is to walk in his footsteps and not become legalistic. Then, believing and obeying, we should ask for the great big things that would bless God.

Faith, Fear of Man and the Journey Ahead

I Kings 19:1 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.
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If you recall, Elijah has just finished the whole contest with the prophets of Baal and proven God's power in a profound way. Who could deny God after that? Surely after that great sign Elijah could have no doubt of God's will! But Elijah is human, like John the Baptist, his antecedent, and he confesses to God that he is no better than his fathers (or those after him).
He his weak in his faith for the moment, but he is humble about it. What does God do? He sends an angel with some food and drink. In other words, he sends a spiritual messanger with physical "daily bread". Interesting, eh?

Faith and Knowledge: The Epistemalogical Continuum

Hebrews11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
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6 And without faith it is impossible to please [God], for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
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9 By [Abraham] he went to live in the land of promise, ... 10 For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. ...
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13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14 For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. ...16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.

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Pascal's Pensees #72

"For, in fact, what is man in nature? A Nothing in comparison with the Infinite, an All in comparison with the Nothing, a mean between nothing and everything. Since he is infinitely removed from comprehending the extremes, the end of things and their beginning are hopelessly hidden from him in an impenetrable secret; he is equally incapable of seeing the Nothing from which he was made, and the Infinite in which he is swallowed up. What will he do then, but perceive the appearance of the middle of things, in an eternal despair of knowing either their beginning or their end. All things proceed from the Nothing, and are borne towards the Infinite. Who will follow these marvelous processes? The Author of these wonders understands them. None other can do so." - Blaise Pascal

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In my own mediations regarding the relationship between what is known scientifically and what is known through faith, I have arrived at a similar, albeit less profound, concept. I call it the Epistemological Continuum and i am sure that serious philosophers and theologians would scoff at me for taking myself so seriously. But I don't really. Anyway, here it is.

In our pursuit of truth we find ourselves somehow inserted in the middle of things. As Pascal says, between the nothing and the infinite. What can we know from this position. Science relies on a number of basic assumptions in order to prove new things. Scientists like to think that they have proven something empirically, but this is ultimately impossible because every fact is somehow dependent on another fact in an eternal regression until you get to something for which we have to just believe. That's why all science is based in scientific theory. Philosophy, on the other hand, often examines premises ad nauseum never believing that it has found an adequate definition for anything. The two modes of truth testing have their own bear traps to fall into. Convine yourself that everything is provable, definable and under your control and you may find you've summited the tower of Babel only to be humbled. Scientism in my opinion, may lead to egocentrism. On the other hand, philosophy which completely unravels every basic assumption will, in the end, cause despair and perhaps nihilism. The best way of pursuing truth then, in my opinion, is humbly, from the middle, testing some assumptions and trying to push forward using the scientific method within reason. But human reason has its limits and those limits fall short of the reality of truth. Knowing this, in fact, having faith in this nature of Truth [read: God], we trust, like all the saints, that our knowledge is good enough (if we are healthy in the head) for whatever God wants from us. We can then test and approve his will is good.