Prophecy, Tongues and Women in Church

1 Corinthians 14:26 What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. 27 If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. 28 But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. 29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. 30 If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. 31 For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, 32 and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. 33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
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As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. 36 Or was it from you that the word of God came? Or are you the only ones it has reached? 37 If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. 38 If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. 39 So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40 But all things should be done decently and in order.
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These two passages in 1 Corinthians 14 are troublesome on many levels. Firstly, how many Christian churches are actually fostering an orderly atmosphere of prophecy and tongues, welcoming the outsiders and edifying the members? It seems that a vast number of churches would either redefine what prophecy and tongues are, or they would claim they no longer exist. Or, they would err on the other side, allowing the prophets to dominate the service. Paul's guidance is still right on and I long for a community that humbly makes space for the Holy Spirit while using wisdom to discipline ego.
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Secondly, women speaking in church - it seems that the churches that take the first part literally, regarding the prophetic and tongue speaking advice as something for us today, are the same churches that dismiss the apparently sexist insistence that women should remain silent. I am not sure what to make of this. I have been reading the arguments and supporting women in ministry for a number of personal reasons. My own preference is to read Paul's teaching as a correction to specific cultural phenomena, but then again, if Paul were to come into one of our churches today and say it again, would we explain him away? Many women are specifically anointed for leadership. I don't need to cite Biblical examples, but there are quite a few. So what do we take away from this passage? The tone throughout both passages is of one disciplining children. Paul is definitely speaking as a parent, treating the men and women like brothers and sisters in a family. In my family I have two daughters and one son (and another son on the way). My two girls are quite chatty, and they are older, so they happen to be a bit more articulate than my son. Needless to say, they dominate the dinner table discussion with musings about pre-k, barbie, Hannah Montana, friends and artwork... My son, on the other hand, has a vocabulary of about 20 words. When he sees food, he says, "mmm" in a hungry manner. When you ask him if he wants to eat it, he says , "hyeah" and runs to his high chair. When tell him he is going to bed, he wags his head back and forth in protest, saying "dohhh!" I wonder if Paul's critique on the gender relationship comes from a perspective anything like mine, perceiving male and female as equal, but also perceiving a specific female dominance in the "family" community. How would I, as a father, try to maintain a healthy balance of attention, love and respect in this organic and unequal environment? I might prohibit the girls from talking during certain times so that my son could work on speaking a bit. But this metaphor certainly doesn't go all the way either, for we know that we are wiser than children, at least in some ways. And this might shed light on his verse about child likeness and wisdom- "20 Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature." Jesus says that we need to become like children in order to enter the kingdom of God. Paul illuminates this family dynamic by explaining how child likeness applies to the knowledge of good and evil, so maturity and wisdom still have a place in the Christian life.
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What does wisdom tell you about these passages in 1 Corinthians? What is Paul trying to accomplish in the church? Perhaps you know more of the context than I do. I would love to know more.