Feeling God's Closeness

Job 23:8 “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there,and backward, but I do not perceive him;9 on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him;he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.10 But he knows the way that I take;when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.11 My foot has held fast to his steps;I have kept his way and have not turned aside.12 I have not departed from the commandment of his lips;I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.

Psalm 139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar.3 You search out my path and my lying downand are acquainted with all my ways.4 Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.5 You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me.6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;it is high; I cannot attain it. 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?Or where shall I flee from your presence?8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!9 If I take the wings of the morningand dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,10 even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me.

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I wrote an essay a while back which has been a bit of a theme for me as a father, about how all of us, at our core, crave God's attention, and how He craves ours. There are many dynamics to these complimentary desires. Properly fulfilled, they become worship and blessing. In their fractured forms, they lead to fear and judgement.

There is no easy answer to explain why Job is estranged from God. He is a godly man who has suffered greatly. His process of suffering is a drama that reveals his character and challenges our paradigms about God. He feels that God is not near. We can relate to that. It is an interesting thing to have in the Bible, when you think about it - a lament about how God feels far away. But it is a lament that is reiterated over and over again, contrasting with the times when God comes near.

Psalm 139 is the other extreme of this feeling - an utter awareness of the closeness of God. It is the understanding that his eyes are always on us.

Despite what we may feel, here is the promise from Jesus himself: "I am with you always, to the end of the age.” He is, after all, the Prince of Peace.